[enclosed] in a room with four walls
covered with oddities and things not her own
a girl sits alone

huddled on a bed not her own

blocking the images and sounds
of being [alone]


the clicking of the fan
the shouting outside of the door
a simple lock to keep it from leaking in
she wraps her arms around herself
as if to keep it all together
to keep from leaking out


a girl sits [alone]
huddled on the bed
blocking the images and sounds
of being alone


she hears her name
being [yelled] with contempt
and disgrace
flinching at the sounds
that leak through the cracks
the lock is broken
the unwanted things start to seep in


she sits alone
huddled on the bed
not her own
blocking the images and sounds
that now fill the room
the room with four walls
the room not her own
a tear slips down her face
soon followed be more
the lock is now gone
kicked aside by the sounds
the images leak in
the sounds only get louder
then nothing
as if forgotten
by time
she cries
she screams
but nothing comes out
noone is there to comfort her
she is all alone
huddled on a bed
that is not her own
the silence is deafening
the fan seems to have stopped
time suddenly prolongs.......................
chpt 2
a girl sits alone
huddled on the bed
a tear stained face
is the only memory
she gets off the bed
that is not her own
puts on her clothes
and unlocks the door
washing her face
eating the food already set
mimicking the motions
she did once long ago
a quick grin to decieve
whats really inside
a girl walks in a room
people laughing talking playing
one looks up at her
then quickly away
her eyes grow [cold]
and she sits alone
people talk
people laugh
she opens her book
immersing herself in a world
not her own


away from the torments
away from the pain


she used to be one
of them
she would laugh
she would talk
a long time ago
they would [ask] her
how she was doing
but now
they don't even notice her
once upon a time
they would take some time
to ask
how she was

they don't even notice the days

she was gone


now they have forgotten her name
a nameless girl
a nameless place
sitting alone
reading a book
the pain she carries
alone in this world
the bell rings
she is the last to leave


the teacher

asks her questions
about her work
"your grades are falling"
she replies
"its only a lapse"
a deceitful grin
and she disapears in the crowd


[she's] shoved into a locker
not once but twice
people overlook her
she is alone
she sleeps in classes
she skips most meals
she only appears when
her heart has somewhat healed


she hits the ball
it sails over the net
she calls [luv]
reajusting her strings
and slams one
into the square
the only class
where she is acknowledged
the only class it is ok
to be alone
she says game
she says set
she cries match
she walks off the court
sweat streaks down her face


she [changes]
she runs
she's back home
the food is set
she takes it to her room
waiting for the call
that never comes


chpt 3

[once] long ago
a girl had friends
close friends who cared
shared and laughed
once long ago
a girl was hurt
she hid it well
so noone ever asked
noone cared
to heal her
they thought her mean
stubborn
a prude
but secretly she cried
cried alone
her friends thought her
stuck up
and rude
but she wept as it came
to pass one day
she longed to [play]
laugh and share
with her friends
when she was ready to talk
they no longer cared
she still hung out
but they didn't talk
ignoring her
just because they thought
that she was
stuck up
stubborn
and a prude
she [wept] alone at night
silent cries
silent screams
she was torn apart
she longed for love
she longed for hate
she longed to be
part of a mate
she once had a friend
who she thought her
best
but it seems that their
friendship
was only a [test]
her friend soon grew bored
and the girl sat alone
without hearth
without home

in sadness all her own




chpt. 4

she sat in a bed
a bed not her own
in a room with four walls
covered with things
not her [own]


the lock on the door
threatened to break
already leaking things in
the sounds and the images
the [memories] and the
forthcomings


things that made
the tears stream down her eyes
as her name was said
with disdain and disgust
she was no longer [welcome]
but there were none she could trust
her friend now ignored her
the others polite at best
inside she wept
as they all went off


leavin her
all alone
on a bed not her own
shut in [a ]room
with four walls
that grew smaller everyday


the [tears] she shed

made puddles...
that grew larger
every day
one day she hoped
one day she prayed
that soon the puddles
would drown her [sorrows]
away


let down once again
by the ones that she loved
she wanted to call
but still she waited
for the call that
would never [come]

†